Leia's Prayer
by DaniNatureGirl391
Summary: Written in memory of Carrie Fisher. During a restless night, Kylo Ren thinks of his mother.


_**AN: Inspired by the song "A Mother's Prayer". I felt this was appropriate, given the sad fact that Debbie Reynolds has also passed away. Two of the earliest movies I can remember seeing were "Empire Strikes Back" & "Halloweentown", so it feels like a big chunk of my childhood has been ripped away. It's hard to think about them, without getting choked up. We'll miss them both dearly. Prayers going out to their family.**_

 _ **"As darkness falls each night, remind her where you are."**_

The mission had been both successful and exhausting. In theory, Kylo Ren should've been able to sleep quite well. Why, then, was he having such a hard time with it? He hated feeling unsettled, and he hated how frequently that was happening now. His master was starting to pick up on it. If Snoke could sense his conflict, it wouldn't be long before Hux and others would be able to, as well.

"As if the destroyed furniture and rooms weren't proof enough", he thought with a smirk.

As he rolled over in bed, he again tried to find the right current to carry him to sleep. Then, a voice, warm and rich, ghosted across his mind like a breeze over a field.

It spoke only a single word: "Ben..."

His given name. As a child, he'd been told this was a tribute to a dear friend of the family, who'd passed on long ago. But in this precise moment, all it was to him was an annoyance. He made a noise that was a cross between a groan and a growl, and he once more shifted position. It wasn't his name anymore, as far as he was concerned.

That voice called a second time: "Ben..."

Kylo flipped onto his back, his eyes shooting daggers at the ceiling. That voice called him a third time, and then a fourth and fifth. Each time, it seemed to grow louder, drawing him back into memories he wished he could escape. He'd known all along whose voice this was. His facial expression gradually softened as he thought about her, his only true weakness. He could see her, crouching down and clapping her hands to encourage him to take his first steps. She didn't know he carried memories from that early in life. He remembered the flowery smell of her perfume, which he'd breathe in whenever she'd hug him. He remembered her loud, vivacious laugh, which often gave his father's a run for its credits. He cringed at the idea, remembering the agony he'd briefly felt in his chest when Han Solo had tumbled from that catwalk. It was her pain he'd felt. Her grief. Her heartbreak. What would she think of her baby boy now? Did she still have hope for him? His throat suddenly feeling dry, he climbed out of bed and headed into the fresher room.

Using the Force to turn on both the light and the water, he filled a cup that was normally for rinsing and brought it to his mouth. As he did so, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He ran his gaze along his reflected cheekbone and jaw, briefly lingering on his full bottom lip. He'd been told many times that he shared those features with her. Her heard her voice again, once more calling him. This wasn't helping his inner conflict. Roughly shaking his hair to clear his mind, he splashed some cool water on his face. But when his eyes met the glass again, he swore he saw her there.

She gave him a small, tender smile, and she called him for the seventh time: "Ben..."

She reached out to him from within the glass. As if he were hypnotized, Kylo's own right hand moved up to touch hers across the barrier. The image faded, but the echo of her voice lingered in the air around him. He understood now that it always would. No matter where he went, whatever he did, how many people he intimidated, or how many stormtroopers threw him a salute, he would always be her son. The corners of his eyes burned, and he blinked several times to keep the tears from flowing.

Pulling his hand away from the mirror, a single word finally passed his lips: "Mom."

Far across the galaxy, Leia Organa had heard the echo in the corner of her mind. It made the corner of her mouth twitch up. She knew her boy was thinking about her. No matter what, she would always pray for his safety.

Shifting beneath her own bedcovers, she whispered, "I love you, sweetheart."

She'd never learn this, but as his head touched his pillow again, he sighed out the famous Solo response: "I know."

He didn't know why he'd done that. And surprisingly, he didn't care.

 _ **AN: Regarding the "his only true weakness" line, that came from a YouTuber named Mike Zeroh. He's done some incredible "Star Wars" videos. During one of them, he said that he believes Leia will be Ben/Kylo's weakness in Eps. 8 & 9, just as Shmi was for Anakin. **_


End file.
